August31

Or maybe she's deaf. Have you thought of that?

8.31.10

"You are all vonderful people."

August30

(You'd think today would have produced plenty of memorable quotes.)

8.30.10

"Opa."

August29

I should be working

8.29.10

"Ich bin apfel."

August28

*Woman wordlessly slams down a Starbucks half-and-half container in front of the barista*
"Does this mean you would like some more half-and-half?"

8.28.10

"Ties and Rollerblades."

8.27.10

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

August27

bris-job, bow-job, dub-job

August26

"Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women, and I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."

8.26.10

"You speak the language of my heart...semi-fluently."

August25

Alas, the wheel has turned once more.

8.25.10

"Which part of 'team work' don't you understand; 'team' or 'work', 'team' or work'? Which park of 'team work' don't you understand? Mean jerk, mean jerk! You can't work as a team? That is really mean! Which part of 'team work' don't you understand; 'team' or 'work', 'team' or work'? Which part of 'team work' don't you understand? Mean jerk, mean jerk!"

August24

"You are a c%@# hair away from indictment and you see fit to argue with me?"

8.24.10

"Duh."

August23

"Tourist."

8.23.10

"Young cow pokes."

August22

8.22.10

"One day you will re-unite with your old friend-the uni-brow."

August21

8.21.10

"Ramadan Mubarak."

August20

8.20.10

"You bit your finger?"
"YEAH!!!!!!"
"How does it taste?"

August19

8.19.10

"This email is probably going to be my quote of the day."

August18

I don't think we can date anymore if you look like that.

8.18.10

"Your friends dance real weird."

8.17.10

""Be quick to forgive."

8.16.10

"Husband."

8.15.10

"Wife."

8.14.10

"I do."

8.13.10

"This toast is for you."

8.12.10

"Two hands."
"That's a big Korean thing."

8.11.10

"Where are you?"
"In the kitchen."
"Where is Ma?"
"In the living room."
"Uhh...why is your car at best buy?"

8.10.10

"Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-at!"

8.9.10

"I thought he was just messing with our heads to build character."

8.8.10

"Knives."

8.7.10

" Give her a kiss."
"I already did that."

8.6.10

"Happy Birthday, Renee Grace O'Brien."

8.5.10

"24 frames and a few beats per second. He's gonna go Schwartz his Phipps."

8.4.10

""Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional."

8.3.10

"what wedding?"

8.2.10

"12 days till the 'it's complicated' relationship status joke is rehashed."

8.1.10

Fail
"You have a tattoo?!?."