March the Thirty-First

"Smartest fucking penguin. Ever. "

3.31.10

"While you're imitating Al Capone, I'll be Nina Simone, and defecating on your microphone. Eww, trip hop!"

March the Thirtieth

3.30.10

"As this professor explains some obscure scientific experiment, Obama is lost in thought about something completely unrelated."

March the Twenty-Ninth

3.29.10

"Word in the village, I'm a little bit crazy. Swag up on a hundred degrees, no eighty."

March the Twenty-Eighth

3.28.10

"You really took that to the next level by talking to a pigeon."

March the Twenty-Seventh

3.27.10

"I ain't lost. This ain't shipwrecked."

March the Twenty-Sixth

3.26.10

"If your tongue could be a flavor, what flavor would it be?"
"Oh my god, that's so stupid. It's the second time she does that one."

March the Twenty-Fifth

3.25.10

fail

"Pacman, I'm Jewish!"

March the Twenty-Fourth

3.24.10

"Polish Store-- 'Better than Other Food!'"

March the Twenty-Third

3.23.10

"I'm gonna get dick deep in your feelings and destroy them!"

March the Twenty-Second

3.22.10

"Who are you?"
"I'm Demian. Who are you?"
"Damien."
[...]
"Is that really your name?"
"Yes."

March the Twenty-First

3.21.10

"So what are your plans for Greece?"
"I don't plan."
" Good for you!"

March the Twentieth

3.20.10

"BadabodadabadodapdabadadodadabadadoDEA-OH!"

3.19.10

"You say 'pie', I say 'die'!"

March the Nineteenth

3.18.10

"I'm a hustler, homie."
"No you aren't."

March the Seventeenth

3.17.10

"Are bicycles traditionally eaten with both hands?"

March the Sixteenth (already?)

I need to start going about my day, ears perked, constantly asking myself, "Is that quote? Is that a quote?"

3.16.10

"Happy birthday, pre-wife! The hype machines lose control."

March the Fifteenth

Something D-O-O economics. Voodoo economics.

3.15.10

"I rarely write about my red hair."

3/14/10

"i don't know whether to be sad, happy or angry at your status."

3.14.10

"Fuck itch y'all, I'm runnin' dis Coo-Coo! [modem sounds]."

3.14

Victory for the forces of democratic freedom!

3/13/10

"thanks my god."

March the Thirteenth

Australia. What fresh hell is this?              I will civilize this land.

3.13.10

"Mambo!"

3/12/10

"Depends. Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

March the Twelfth

"I'd like to offer you a position."

"I'd like to offer you one. Permanently disabled." 

3.12.10

"Gaga."

3/11/10

"oh this tastes like dreams! what is it? breast milk?"

March the Eleventh

"It's too big."

"That's what she said."

"Sam, no she didn't."

3.11.10

"What did you do today?"
"I had lunch. Then I laid my head down; then I woke up."

3/10/10

"it's better to love and lose than never to love (your job) at all"

March the Tenth

Trololololo

(I'm sure I heard that at some point today)

3.10.10

"An ass and a coward."

There was something.