4.30.10

"I'm Russian."

4.29.10

"Kick it!"

4.28.10

"Invisible."

April the TwentySeventh

Lame

4.27.10

"If I were a different me...in the same body...would you still love me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I have, uh, extracted and stored my soul. But now, uh....they've misplaced it."

April the TwentySixth

It doesn't take much. An everyday moment can turn romantic at a moment's notice. And when it does, men with erectile dysfunction can be more confident in their ability.

4.26.10

"Dog-a-saurus!"

April the Twenty-Fifth

Fucking Magnets, How do they work?

4.25.10

"What the fuck is a clock?"

April the Twenty-Fourth

4.24.10

"You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky- it's in the shape of a giant cock."

April the Twenty-Third

You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky – it's in the shape of a giant cock 

4.23.10

"I hear ya, good buddy!"

April the Twenty-Second

What is this?

4.22.10

"Have you heard of finger banging? It's awesome!"

April the Twenty-First

What is this?

4.21.10

" What's the difference between a pager and email?"

April the whydidntmystudentsseemtotallywithittodayoramijustparanoid?

4.20.10

"Those sneaks are the drug."

4.19.10

"Zombies are still assholes!"

April the Nineteenth

"Is the octomom black?"

April the Eighteenth

(Angrily) "Smile!"

4.18.10

"Someone's ear is in danger of getting hair brushed over it."

4.17.10

"I'm far too distracted by skin color to pay any attention to someone's eye color."

April the Seventeenth

4.16.10

"Sophie isn't a robot in the sky, but in this novel, she transformed like one. Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, and after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died."

April the Sixteenth

Again, click for something bigger

4.15.10

"I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch lately, with all the demands of my New Age music career and my radio show – but hey, look who I’m talking to."

April the Fifteenth

Please Click For (almost) Full Size

April the Fourteenth

There's nothing I like less than writing, administering, and grading tests. 

It makes me more anxious than taking tests ever did.

4.14.10

"Maracas."

April the Thirteenth

How I 

loathe

 thee

4.13.10

"In 1685, he canceled the Edict of Nantes, which protected the religious freedom of Huguenots."

April the Twelfth

"I wish I knew how beard trimmers work. Damn."

4.12.10

"Earth, water, wind, dirt. Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?"

April the Eleventh

4.11.10

"I'm gonna do three songs. I know what they are. Then we're going to stop listening to music forever."

April the Tenth

"quote"

4.10.10

"Drag divas."

April the Ninth

4.09.10

"My dad liked gardening."

April the Eighth

4.8.10

"I don't care if you're Ms. America-- Mr. America; you still go tru [sic.] your bolonga."

April the Seventh

4.7.10

"The secret of being boring is to say everything."

4.6.10

"Is the Easter Bunny Jesus?"
"Noooooo. He's a duuuuuuude."

April the Sixth

4.6.10

"Give me 30 days."

April the Fifth

4.5.10

"Is the goal to do it quickly, or to do it right?'