September the Seventh

At this time please turn off all electronics. This includes all cell phones and pagers—no airplane mode, no silent mode, no a la mode. Nothing.

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…if not, that's too bad—just use the person next to you as a flotation device.

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For security reasons, please do not congregate by the lavatory at the front of the plane. No hanky-panky. No mile-high. You can do all that stuff in the back of the plane.