February the Twenty-Fifth

… can I magnetize cobalt?

I'm not sure — I think so — why?

I'm just wondering.

Is it a secret?

Maybe.

2.25.10

"I'll be words, you'll be music."

February the Twenty-Fourth

Takes a whore to catch a whore.

2/24/10

"Darrell, I'm very afraid for my vagina"

2.24.10

"Does he talk fast?"

2/23/10

"if she aint met yo friends she aint yo girlfriend"

February the Twenty-Third

"What biological structure would you say has no functional purpose?"
"The mouth."
... long pause ...
"I'm not expert in anatomy, but I'm pretty sure the mouth has a lot of essential functions."
"Well, not all animals have mouths, so how important can it be?"

2.23.10

"What's the most current new thing your baby is doing?"
"She smiles a lot. You know how I you say I smile a lot?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well she smiles a lot too."
" Aww...like father like daughter."
"...but it's mostly due to gas I think."
"Right. That's why you smile a lot too though, so it makes sense."
[This is about as raunchy as it gets when it comes to joking with my co-workers.]

2/22/10

"mr. a, how many watches do you own?"

February the Twenty-Second

"Someone graffiti-ed the door of the stall so they removed the door."
"Seems like an overreaction."
"Yeah, someone started writing on the walls of the stall too, and they threatened to remove those too so that you'd be sitting exposed on a toilet in the middle of a public restroom."

2.22.10

"According to my spam folder, when referring to erections, it is important to specify if the erection is a "sexual" erection, or a "non-sexual" erection."

February the Twenty-First

"Are you classified as human?" 

"Negative. I am a meat popsicle."

2/21/10

"so was the girl you went home with hott?"

"no, not even close"

2.21.10

"This is your brain failing."

February the Twentieth

"Bon-jerrr-no."

2/20/10

"consider this union baby teeth"

2.20.10

"Kamehachi means 'eight turtles.'"

February the Nineteenth

nothing interesting

2/19/10

"i like you"

2.19.10

"A rapper with the Grammy-nominated club act LMFAO had a confrontation with Mitt Romney in Canada . Laughing My Fucking Ass Off + Romney + Canada + Fighting = Romney 2012!"