photograph.a.day.: 12.09

12.31.2009

12.31.09

"10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one..."

12.30.2009

12.30.09

"You get under it and I'll take a picture of you."
"You don't have a blog!"

12.29.2009

12.29.09

"What was your motivation for doing this?"
"I was living in a tent and I didn't like it."

12.28.2009

12.27.2009

12.26.2009

12/26/09

"7pm at kellys i hope we dont die going there."

12.25.2009

12.24.2009

12.23.2009

12.23.09

Harness the fear and turn it into the funny.

12/23/09

lady at a kiosk in the mall:

"can i ask you a question?"

me:

"no thank you."

lady:

"sir, can i just ask you one question"

me:

"well is it pertaining to what you're selling?"

lady:

"well, yes. do you care about your nails?"

me:

"no, not really."

12.22.2009

12.22.09

Don't take the room too literally. Think of it as the fourth dimension.

12.21.2009

12.21.09

Listen to the radio now...we'll hear me say 'cock' soon

12/21/09

"How the f*ck do the Bulls blow a 20 point lead?"

12.20.2009

12/20/09

"its like a vitamin that movie. i take it once a day for good health"

12.20.09

"Do you think your parents would feel weird about seeing my crack?"

12.19.2009

12.18.2009

12.17.2009

He found it peculiar that the forecast called for light showers beginning at 2am. "That seems like a pretty useless time for light showers, don't you think?" "Well when are 'light showers' ever useful," he asked. "

12.16.2009

12.16.09

"Buzzer still says 'Schroat'"

12.15.2009

12.15.09

"Are you telling me you're going to shit down his throat if he doesn't produce? That's all I want to know."

12.14.2009

12.14.09

"What's that?"
"A beard."
"My dad has one of those!"

12.13.2009

12.13.09

Hanukkah Harry was sitting in a bush, he didn't know which way to look.
He looked three times, he looked four,
he should have looked twice as more.
He should look eight times for the festival of lights;
that's why Hanukkah has eight glorious nights.

12.12.2009

12.12.09

Your mom has crabs so big I ride them to work.

12.11.2009

12.11.09

"It was him."
"What?!? I did not eat ANY chocolate on Wednesday!"

12.10.2009

12.10.09

Womens they be Jewish, they be Jewish!

12.09.2009

12.9.09

If he drinks anymore alcohol, he will go to prison.

12.08.2009

12.8.09

"You suck, Salmon!"

12.07.2009

12.7.09

"The Bulls played worse than any team has ever played in any game at any standard in any season of any decade in any league in any country of any sport ever."

12.06.2009

Today

That rabbit's foot don't save no life. Guns save lives.com

12.6.09

"The worst is with grad students!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. I hate running into my students anywhere. Once I was out on Halloween and I saw one of them. It's Halloween... it's like my favorite holiday!"

12.05.2009

12.5.09

"Ez bullsheet! I did not hit her! I did noooooot! Oh hi Mark!"

12.04.2009

12.4.09

A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.