October the Sixteenth

10.16.09

Can you take away the sadness?

October the Fifteenth

10.15.09

Do you think you can email me that STD pic? I want to show my parents.

October the Fourteenth

I'm scared poopless of it.

10.14.09

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

October the Thirteenth

Can I make "Because I'm an anal freak" the quote of the day?

10.13.09

Why didn't you tell us you were being made a saint for all your hard work with marginalized communities? At least Obama released a statement about his award.

October the Twelfth

Nobody in America likes the German Romantics.

10.12.09

There's more than corn in Indiana. There are also pumkins!

October the Eleventh

Family killed by pigeons. Need BB gun for revenge.

10.11.09

Shot gun DANG, what's up with that thang?

October the Tenth

Miami of Ohio fan to Northwestern fan: "Yeah! You and your baby!"

10.10.09

Winnie Cooper

10.9.09

I like that we were all in the bathroom together so that you could take your pants down.

October the Ninth

You definitely do have meningitis. Have a great weeked! Love, Mom

10.8.09

It's not everyday that you can joke around about not having a shit-load of money with the brother-in-law of the education secretary of the United States.

October the Eighth

Your Uncle Max—he just croaked—flush that turd down the drain!

October the Seventh

22 days and counting since I last said, "You don't even know me, man," to a stranger.

10.7.09

"You ever get confused for someone?"
{nod}
"Who?"
"Why don't you tell me?"
"Justin"
{Nod}
{Grabs cover of "Star" magazine and places it along side my face}
"See, you look just like him."
"Mmph."