4.20.10

"Those sneaks are the drug."

4.19.10

"Zombies are still assholes!"

April the Nineteenth

"Is the octomom black?"

April the Eighteenth

(Angrily) "Smile!"

4.18.10

"Someone's ear is in danger of getting hair brushed over it."

4.17.10

"I'm far too distracted by skin color to pay any attention to someone's eye color."

April the Seventeenth

4.16.10

"Sophie isn't a robot in the sky, but in this novel, she transformed like one. Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, and after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died."

April the Sixteenth

Again, click for something bigger

4.15.10

"I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch lately, with all the demands of my New Age music career and my radio show – but hey, look who I’m talking to."

April the Fifteenth

Please Click For (almost) Full Size

April the Fourteenth

There's nothing I like less than writing, administering, and grading tests. 

It makes me more anxious than taking tests ever did.

4.14.10

"Maracas."

April the Thirteenth

How I 

loathe

 thee

4.13.10

"In 1685, he canceled the Edict of Nantes, which protected the religious freedom of Huguenots."

April the Twelfth

"I wish I knew how beard trimmers work. Damn."

4.12.10

"Earth, water, wind, dirt. Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?"

April the Eleventh

4.11.10

"I'm gonna do three songs. I know what they are. Then we're going to stop listening to music forever."

April the Tenth

"quote"

4.10.10

"Drag divas."

April the Ninth

4.09.10

"My dad liked gardening."

April the Eighth

4.8.10

"I don't care if you're Ms. America-- Mr. America; you still go tru [sic.] your bolonga."

April the Seventh

4.7.10

"The secret of being boring is to say everything."

4.6.10

"Is the Easter Bunny Jesus?"
"Noooooo. He's a duuuuuuude."

April the Sixth

4.6.10

"Give me 30 days."

April the Fifth

4.5.10

"Is the goal to do it quickly, or to do it right?'

April the Fourth

4.4.10

"Avert your peepers...there's a big ole rat over there."

April the Third

I laughed a lot at Hot Tub Time Machine, but I cannot think of a quote to save my life. Was it actually not funny?

4.3.10

"Those people didn't go to Church!"
"What a bunch of assholes."

April theeeee Second

4.2.10

"Water macaroni."

April Fools

4.1.10

"Are you doing any April Fool's jokes?"
"No. Maybe I should start walking around the office cutting everyone's hair."
"You should do that tomorrow...and for no reason."

March the Thirty-First

"Smartest fucking penguin. Ever. "

3.31.10

"While you're imitating Al Capone, I'll be Nina Simone, and defecating on your microphone. Eww, trip hop!"

March the Thirtieth

3.30.10

"As this professor explains some obscure scientific experiment, Obama is lost in thought about something completely unrelated."

March the Twenty-Ninth

3.29.10

"Word in the village, I'm a little bit crazy. Swag up on a hundred degrees, no eighty."

March the Twenty-Eighth

3.28.10

"You really took that to the next level by talking to a pigeon."

March the Twenty-Seventh

3.27.10

"I ain't lost. This ain't shipwrecked."