4.12.10

"Earth, water, wind, dirt. Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?"

April the Eleventh

4.11.10

"I'm gonna do three songs. I know what they are. Then we're going to stop listening to music forever."

April the Tenth

"quote"

4.10.10

"Drag divas."

April the Ninth

4.09.10

"My dad liked gardening."

April the Eighth

4.8.10

"I don't care if you're Ms. America-- Mr. America; you still go tru [sic.] your bolonga."

April the Seventh

4.7.10

"The secret of being boring is to say everything."

4.6.10

"Is the Easter Bunny Jesus?"
"Noooooo. He's a duuuuuuude."

April the Sixth

4.6.10

"Give me 30 days."

April the Fifth

4.5.10

"Is the goal to do it quickly, or to do it right?'

April the Fourth

4.4.10

"Avert your peepers...there's a big ole rat over there."

April the Third

I laughed a lot at Hot Tub Time Machine, but I cannot think of a quote to save my life. Was it actually not funny?

4.3.10

"Those people didn't go to Church!"
"What a bunch of assholes."

April theeeee Second

4.2.10

"Water macaroni."

April Fools

4.1.10

"Are you doing any April Fool's jokes?"
"No. Maybe I should start walking around the office cutting everyone's hair."
"You should do that tomorrow...and for no reason."

March the Thirty-First

"Smartest fucking penguin. Ever. "

3.31.10

"While you're imitating Al Capone, I'll be Nina Simone, and defecating on your microphone. Eww, trip hop!"

March the Thirtieth

3.30.10

"As this professor explains some obscure scientific experiment, Obama is lost in thought about something completely unrelated."

March the Twenty-Ninth

3.29.10

"Word in the village, I'm a little bit crazy. Swag up on a hundred degrees, no eighty."

March the Twenty-Eighth

3.28.10

"You really took that to the next level by talking to a pigeon."

March the Twenty-Seventh

3.27.10

"I ain't lost. This ain't shipwrecked."

March the Twenty-Sixth

3.26.10

"If your tongue could be a flavor, what flavor would it be?"
"Oh my god, that's so stupid. It's the second time she does that one."

March the Twenty-Fifth

3.25.10

fail

"Pacman, I'm Jewish!"

March the Twenty-Fourth

3.24.10

"Polish Store-- 'Better than Other Food!'"

March the Twenty-Third

3.23.10

"I'm gonna get dick deep in your feelings and destroy them!"

March the Twenty-Second

3.22.10

"Who are you?"
"I'm Demian. Who are you?"
"Damien."
[...]
"Is that really your name?"
"Yes."

March the Twenty-First

3.21.10

"So what are your plans for Greece?"
"I don't plan."
" Good for you!"

March the Twentieth

3.20.10

"BadabodadabadodapdabadadodadabadadoDEA-OH!"

3.19.10

"You say 'pie', I say 'die'!"

March the Nineteenth

3.18.10

"I'm a hustler, homie."
"No you aren't."