2.11.10

"You've got five seconds before I take the handcuffs out."

February the Tenth

"Why didn't we have a snow day today?"

(Heavy sarcasm) "Well … they've plowed the streets, it's not really snowing, and it's kinda warm outside."

"CPS is going to be closed tomorrow."

"Really??"

2/10/10

"i know now to never date a dude with a Braid tattoo..."

2.10.10

"There was an earthquake."

February the Nineth

"We're bros!"

"The only sense in which we are bros is in that we are both male."

"Someone's drinking the hater-ade."

2/9/10

"yeah he's not very attractiveshe's pretty though"

2.9.10

"Someone's drinking the haterade."

2/8/10

"The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling “My Way” in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the “My Way Killings.”

The killings have produced urban legends about the song and left Filipinos groping for answers. Are the killings the natural byproduct of the country’s culture of violence, drinking and machismo? Or is there something inherently sinister in the song?"

February the Eighth

Reject him.

2.8.10

"Quote."

2/7/10

"Choco-Pie: It's Now!"

February the Seventh

He started tickling my butt.

2.7.10

"Fig Newton"

2/6/10

"North Suburbs suck"

February the Sixth

Motherfucker

too many letters

2.6.10

"Did it flush okay?"

2/5/10

"i'm not goin' down without being a part of earth's destruction"

February the Fifth

I heard it was a hard test.

2.5.10

Humpday

1/4/10

"that's why jesus invented caffeine"

February the Fourth

"I'd rather shit on stage than perform in silence."

2.4.10

"Life is short...eat cookies."

2/3/10

"i mean i'll eat it but i wont be happy about it"

February the Third

He gives the example of a string of entangled ions oscillating back and forth in an electric field trap, a bit like Newton's balls.

2.3.10

"Kjetil Jansrud did it again!"

2/2/10

"use your powers fucker, you have a magical brain!"

February the Second

"I don't see much difference between fart and Sartre — they're both full of hot air."

2.2.10

"Garbage, garbage, money."

February the First

"Chapstick — because healthy lips should never go naked."

2/1/10

"oh my god it is second period!"

2.1.10

"My immune system sucks."

1/31/10

"you hear? Jordan was hit by a bus, don't worry the bus was ok"

January the Thirty-First

You got money, you get to be whatever you say you are.

1.31.10

"Japanese mashed potatoes."

1/30/10

"he had rectal discharge"

January the Thirtieth

find the unchallenged non-word

"You bastards!"

"Plural?"

"Yeah — the tiles."

1.30.10

"We are dinosaurs now."

1/29/10

"he's kind of like you, he looks smart and sweet! and you can't call that choice of fur anything but stylish."

1.29.10

"If you're gonna crash and burn, do so gracefully."
"I hear you dawg."

January the Twenty-Ninth

Only picture taken today 

A Stupid, stupid, stupid misunderstanding of the relationship between evidence and theory.
"There is no scientific evidence for it [Darwin's Origin of Species]. It's only a theory. Man is the wonder of God's creation."

January the Twenty-Eighth

The cigars are sheet ballast, sweetheart. Sheer ballast.

1/28/10

"no one trusts the artists"

1.28.10

"Goddamn money. It always ends up making you blue as hell."

January the Twenty-Seventh

"I'm watching Obama give the State of the Union address with no pants on."

"[…]"

"What? No. I'm not wearing pants."

"[…]"

"What? Oh. No. Joe Wilson isn't wearing any either."

1/27/10

"just catch it all in your hand and inhale it all"

1.27.10

"That's how budgeting works."

January the Twenty-Sixth

And a lot of impudence.

1/26/10

"best way to get over someone is to get under someone new"

1.26.10

"My friend held a monkey but I did not. For adventure, there are people who stick their heads into animals' mouths?"

January the Twenty-Fifth

So I heard we have a test tomorrow.. and I don't believe I knew that before. Do we?