You can't knock 'em all out of the park.
10.23.2009
10.22.2009
10.22.09
Use 'sick!' in brackets as an editorial comment on something awesome. Ex: "Apes with flamethrowers [sick!] burned the police station."
10.21.2009
10.20.2009
10.19.2009
10.18.2009
10.17.2009
10.17.09
"Vlad! What did I tell you about snacking before dinner?"
"I figured...When in Rome, EAT THE ROMANS!!!"
" AHAHAHAHAHA!"
10.16.2009
10.15.2009
10.14.2009
10.13.2009
10.13.09
Why didn't you tell us you were being made a saint for all your hard work with marginalized communities? At least Obama released a statement about his award.
10.12.2009
10.11.2009
10.10.2009
10.09.2009
10.08.2009
10.8.09
It's not everyday that you can joke around about not having a shit-load of money with the brother-in-law of the education secretary of the United States.
10.07.2009
October the Seventh
22 days and counting since I last said, "You don't even know me, man," to a stranger.
10.7.09
"You ever get confused for someone?"{nod}
"Who?"
"Why don't you tell me?"
"Justin"
{Nod}
{Grabs cover of "Star" magazine and places it along side my face}
"See, you look just like him."
"Mmph."
10.06.2009
10.05.2009
October the Fifth
"Josh, can you c'mere when you have sec?" "Sure! I have lots of secs! … oh, oops … "
10.04.2009
October the Fourth
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
10.03.2009
10.02.2009
10.01.2009
10.1.09
As far as uh policy stuff goes, uh...I uh... interned for the uh... Clinton administration, so uh... you're in good hands. (Nervous laughter).
9.30.2009
9.29.2009
9.29.09
...Because right now, around Alpha Centauri, there’s a Grey who wants to make chocolate milk and then breed. And he doesn’t want to use a spoon. He wants to use a Vortex Portable Mixing Glass and your wife or daughter.
9.28.2009
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