1/31/10

"you hear? Jordan was hit by a bus, don't worry the bus was ok"

January the Thirty-First

You got money, you get to be whatever you say you are.

1.31.10

"Japanese mashed potatoes."

1/30/10

"he had rectal discharge"

January the Thirtieth

find the unchallenged non-word

"You bastards!"

"Plural?"

"Yeah — the tiles."

1.30.10

"We are dinosaurs now."

1/29/10

"he's kind of like you, he looks smart and sweet! and you can't call that choice of fur anything but stylish."

1.29.10

"If you're gonna crash and burn, do so gracefully."
"I hear you dawg."

January the Twenty-Ninth

Only picture taken today 

A Stupid, stupid, stupid misunderstanding of the relationship between evidence and theory.
"There is no scientific evidence for it [Darwin's Origin of Species]. It's only a theory. Man is the wonder of God's creation."

January the Twenty-Eighth

The cigars are sheet ballast, sweetheart. Sheer ballast.

1/28/10

"no one trusts the artists"

1.28.10

"Goddamn money. It always ends up making you blue as hell."

January the Twenty-Seventh

"I'm watching Obama give the State of the Union address with no pants on."

"[…]"

"What? No. I'm not wearing pants."

"[…]"

"What? Oh. No. Joe Wilson isn't wearing any either."

1/27/10

"just catch it all in your hand and inhale it all"

1.27.10

"That's how budgeting works."

January the Twenty-Sixth

And a lot of impudence.

1/26/10

"best way to get over someone is to get under someone new"

1.26.10

"My friend held a monkey but I did not. For adventure, there are people who stick their heads into animals' mouths?"

January the Twenty-Fifth

So I heard we have a test tomorrow.. and I don't believe I knew that before. Do we?

1/25/10

"i wouldve totally done her in Professional...just like i wouldve boned Drew Barrymore from ET. hahah scratch that last one. i feel bad about that last one"

1.25.10

fail (again).

"Hi"

1/24/10

"aight! tell him I say "what's up dog!"

January the Twenty-Fourth

Went for a walk; took some photos; felt inspired to begin again, sans quotes (probably). CLICK

1.24.10

"Tobogganing."

1/23/10

"There's a camel, we're almost there..."

1.23.10

"Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity."

1/22/10

"come in looking zulu... leave looking sumo"

1.22.10

"There's a stranger right behind you. There's some danger right behind you. The stranger and danger are the same thing! Duck tales, ooh-ooh-whoo!"

1/21/10

"$100 buys a lot of PHO"

1.21.10

Corporations are not people. Period.

1/20/10

"afraid your vagina will fall off?"

1.20.10

Change the name from Haiti to Love-i. [polite laughter].

1/19/10

"If Back to the Future were made today, Marty would have traveled back in time to 1980"

1.19.10

Sorry Ted.

1/18/10

"Dang, i wish *insert job here* didn't hate black people!"

1.18.10

fail.

Is something funny, young man? You won’t be laughing when you pay me back for that airline ticket to Tunisia.

1/17/10

"you are a party enhancer! right up there w/ booze"

1.17.10

"How's the $45,000.00 soup?"

1/16/10

"listen jay, conan and i have children, all you have to take care of is cars! i mean we have lives to lead hear, you've, you have 800 million dollar, for gods sakes leave our shows alone!"

1.16.10

"I heard you're a big girl!"
"I'm tiny.'

1/15/10

"that's what friends w/ guns r for."

1.15.10

"So perhaps an astronaut who fell into a black hole would be able to make money at roulette by remembering where the ball went before he placed his bet. (Unfortunately, however, he would not have long to play before he was turned to spaghetti. Nor would he be able to let us know about the reversal of the thermodynamic arrow, or even bank his winnings, because he would be trapped behind the event horizon of the black hole.)"

1/14/10

"yeah, change isn't going to happen by itself. this is what obama must've felt like while running for president"

1.14.10

I shoot baskets.

1/13/10

teacher: "mary j. blige"

student: "who's she?"

1.13.10

"Me suffer from extreme bulimia for many years. Me live with private shame for long time. Me feel good getting this off of shoulders. C is for "coming to terms"...that good enough for me."- Cookie Monster

1/12/10

"like will smith said...parents just don't understand"

1.12.10

"I sincerely believe that delaying 'The Tonight Show' into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting."

1/11/10

"you should see my bul-bul, it's huge!"

1.11.10

Sleepy Boots

1/10/10

"he has no respect for his body"

1.10.10

"Today, I learned that two of my three younger cousins are obsessed with Twilight. The third dressed up as a whoopee cushion for Halloween. I think we all know who's the cool one. My Life is Average."